Member of the Notorious Al-Gebra Movement

At Kenyatta International Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Githu Muigai said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the police with carrying weapons of math instruction.
“Al-gebra is a fearsome cult, ” Githu Muigai said. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value.
They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, “There are 3 sides to every triangle.”
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Kenyatta said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.”

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